**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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