Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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