did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
