I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
