im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
