so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
