The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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