Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
