how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
