ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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