i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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