i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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