Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
