it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
