im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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