I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
