chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
