Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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