Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
