I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
