White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
