"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
