just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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