I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
