you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
