so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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