Just took my morning after pill in the library
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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