So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
wow bdsm is so cute
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
