Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
