omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
false alarm, still single
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
