I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
