i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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