THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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