The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
