So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
