Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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