Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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