The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
