im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
