So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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