When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
