Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
