her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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