i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
