He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
