So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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