and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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