I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
