just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
