sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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