Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
