doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
